You and I got something. But it's all and then it's nothing to me, yeah.
And I got my defenses when it comes to your intentions for me, yeah.
I thought I lost you somewhere but you were never really ever there at all.
And I want to get free. Talk to me. I can feel you falling.
And I wanted to be all you need. Somehow here is gone.

AND JUST HOW COULD I...

make an excerpt of a story involving 1.) a coconut, 2.) a spool of thread, 3.) muddy rubber shoes, 4.) a rusty galvanized iron that was once part of the roof and 5.) an empty ballpen?

this (CWJ P.Exam PartII) + Computer Project + Reflection = Tomorrow's Agenda.
+ OPTIONAL: Physics LT and Computer PT and Econ short quiz.

---
ooops, first "this-is-the-outcome-of-stress/I-am-busy-I-have-no-time-to-waste" entry.
ugh, I do not like blogging about school whatnots. :|

YOU'RE MY DISTANCED DESTINATION OF CHOICE.

I know I shouldn't. I know it's pretty stupid.

Seeing your face makes me feel comfortable. No, it doesn't make me smile. It just makes me feel comfortable in ways I find hard to explain.

Your smile disarms me of my preoccupations. It manages to stop me momentarily from doing the things I was initially doing. Seeing you smile does not exactly complete my day. But it, I mean -- knowing that you're happy, is capable of making me feel some indescribable feeling.

This is pretty much restricted. I know I shouldn't. Yet I can't help myself.

You just don't understand, do you? You leave me bare with our eye contacts. I feel unprotected under your gaze. I feel as if you can see my every substance. You make me feel conscious; like I'm transparent. You convince me that you know that much about me. And so I find it very uneasy. I can't keep myself from thinking if I give too much away, if you manage to see through everything.

Do you know what I find odd? You provide me a portion of happiness.

You unknowingly give me something I do not deserve. You are not aware of your effects on me which is, I guess, pretty okay because I do not plan on letting you know this.

I don't love you. I like you. Yes, the restricted kind.

KINIKILIG AKO. :">

I thank thee, imeem. you're such a lifesaver. :)

corny na kung corny. jologs na kung jologs. mababaw na kung mababaw. pero super saya ko kasi napapakinggan ko ngayon ang Stuck (Stacie Orrico), ang kantang super kinacrave kong mapakinggan since the second na nakanta ko siya out of the blue kanina.

wala lang. :)

I miss you even more.
And I can't fake it,
the way I could before.

Recently I've been hopelessly reaching out for this girl who's out of this world.

'nuff said.

I'd still be hopelessly reaching out for this girl who's out of this world. :)
I just hope she's not out of my league.

---
credits:
McFly.
Just My Luck movie.

Our love won't move a mountain.

Looking at you, holding my breath.
For once in my life, I'm scared to death.
I'm taking a chance, letting you inside.



I'm in love with you.
yes, it's pretty stupid. but it really is true.

IT HAS BEEN...
1 month - 2 days since.

pano ko kaya nagawang tumagal? HA-HA! sana hindi pa tumagal 'tong awkward moments.

nagbabasa ako ng Message Archives. binabasa ko yung conversations ko with someone in particular. and narealize ko kung gano nakaka-ano yung mga pinagsasabi ko.

awww, I miss those. :|

---
currently typing: Sexus Aequalitas (On Equality Among the Sexes)
currently listening to: All My Life by KC & Jojo
currently feeling: SLEEPY.

and I hope that you feel the same way too.
yes I pray that you really love me too.

DIDN'T GAVE AN INCH WHEN I GAVE A MILE.



and I am damaged at best,
like you've already figured out.
I'm barely holding on to you
I'm hanging on another day
just to see what you will throw my way.
---

thank you for being my Jason.
you have given me something which will push me
into crying in tomorrow's monologue.

YOU WON'T BE MY #2.

You won't be my #2.
though me and #1 are through.
You won't have something to do
'Cause you also make me blue.

When there's not much left of me
Don't forget to feel guilty
You're not worth my energy
Yet I still invest time on you.

And if you got something to say to me
Don't try to lay your funny ways on me.
I know that it should be nothing to me.
But my heart still aches for "action".

Every time I look at you
Don't be who I want you to.
'Cause for you, anything I'll do
if I get too attached on you.

So don't be my number 2.

THE DEFINITE CLOSURE
on the only thing undefined.

if this was to happen
a year ago,
I surely would have
cried buckets of tears.
just like the way
I have cried
on the 19th of September 2007.

but this didn't
happen a year ago.
and now, it isn't
the same as it was before.

this will be the ultimate closure.
goodbye, not lover.

---
hindi 'to something sa present.
hint: september 19.

WAITING.

the desktop says it's 8:06 PM.
and even though I have a load
of schoolwork to accomplish,
I still hang around,
waiting "patiently" for you.

the desktop says it's 8:11 PM.
and I haven't found the right words.
I have sacrificed hours for you.
I have given up an early hour of sleep.
I have offered you minutes irreplaceable.

the desktop says it's 8:15 PM.
you're not coming.
you will not give me something in return.
you cannot even give me some recognition.
you're the reason for my depression.

the desktop says it's 8:19 PM.
I should stop.
I should not waste too much time
waiting. hoping. sacrificing.
it's your turn now.

---
the desktop says I'm stupid.
this is pretty crappy.

MENDING WALLS, YOU SAY?

At first, we had no walls between us;
just this line of border to separate ourselves.
I'd go near the border then call your name.
I'd wait for a moment and you'd be there.
We'd sit across each other,
telling stories, helping each other out.
yes, plain "I'm-spending-time-with-you" activities
that always managed to make both our days.
I'd call upon you routinely;
like the Little Prince calling his fox.
Then eventually everything got all weary;
and everything looked like it was one-sided.
I decided to wait and see
if you would miss me when I'm gone.
You never called. And that made me think
that you're not missing me one bit.
So I got some bricks and piled them one by one;
delaying each layer so that I could break them down
once I see you approach that line of border.
But you never came, and the wall reached my knees.
It made me all sad to wait for you
while I piled the bricks up the wall.
So I stopped piling bricks.
I left them the way they were.

Sometimes I see you a few yards away;
with that uncertain look very evident on your face.
Then I hesitate and wonder.

Maybe it was my fault.
I shouldn't have piled those up.

I WILL FINISH MY FIL. REACTION PAPER
AFTER POSTING THIS ENTRY.

ang isang bagay na talagang magpapaiyak kay Kat ay kung lumampas na ang lahat ng nararamdaman niya sa internal stress-o-meter niya. 'wag mong sabihin na hindi naman nasstress si Kat. kahit saksakan ng katamaran yan, napapaiyak siya ng stress.

'tulad kanina. naglalakad siya sa trinoma kasama ang pamilya niya. dugyutin, pagod at umiiyak. oo, parang tanga.

pano ba naman, ang dami niyang kailangang gawin tas naisipan pa ng pamilya niyang maglibot-libot sa trinoma. pagod na pagod pa siya kasi kakasundo lang sa kanya dun sa Coastal Clean Up activity.

tas malungkot pa siya. as in 'yung tulalang lungkot na kinakain yung buong utak.

---
okay, intro lang yan sa totoong gusto kong ipost.
will post another entry. :)

MAS LALO TAYONG HIHIRAP SA HINAHARAP.

pano ko naman nasabi?

noong bandang 6:35 AM, nandoon kami sa may Quezon Ave. nakatingin ako nang diretso doon sa kalsada. tas yung mga clouds, yung nasa babang part ng clouds, yung just above the horizon, ay kulay gray. alam niyo yun? G-R-A-Y! pero hindi naman gray ang clouds. nope, dulot yun ng polusyon. polusyon mula sa mga bus.

alam mo, okay lang yun eh. I mean, okay, disturbing. pero MAS DISTURBING 'to:

alam mo bang tumaas ang prices ng Potato Corner?

nandoon kami sa SM Megamall kanina at nagkaroon ako ng craving for Potato Corner fries. guess what? alam mo ba kung ilang percent ang tinaas ng prices nila?!

actually di ko rin alam. pero ito. ang Jumbo Fries na dating P65 naging P68 na. shooot. tsss. tas ito. diba ang Loopy Fries, P55 din or something? ngayon P75 na! pooooootek!

okaay, basta. mahal na ang Potato Corner!! :|

sabi ni Metch Garcia, na matagal na palang mataas yun. pero huh? ngayon ko lang napansin!! :| grabe. :|

HEY, ADVANCED HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :D

I hope I could make you smile tomorrow with the humongous piece of Hershey's Dark Chocolate.

I hope that you're happy. you really do deserve it. :) take care. i love you. :D

yes, I still love you in ways you might misunderstand. but let's leave it at that. :)

matapos ipadala ang kanta ng aming grupo para sa pagtatapos ng hayskul, napadpad ako sa Yahoo! Philippines. at natuwa na lamang ako sa advertisment na 'to:


kewl-e-ooohs. :D


sila ay parang... sooooobrang kewl. :D ang mga matatamis na puso ay nakakaaliw. :) harhar, dumapo tuloy sa aking isipan ang librong kinagigiliwan.

speaking of which, here is a line that speaks of my current mood.
the frustration is in how pointless the effort was.
---

Hello candy hearts! Hello flickr.
You have made my day seem bright(er?)
I've had my overdose of drama.
Now tell me, do you believe in karma?

IMMEDIATE CHEMISTRY.
the CWJ Short Story

How long does it take for one to fall in love? For Will it only took 2 hours and 30 minutes.

Will finds her new Chemistry Lab partner intriguing. Her smiles are capable of making Will's stomach go all floppy. Hearing her voice makes his heart soar. But he knows he has no time to fall in love with such a stranger.

As Will goes through the afternoon, he deals with things he has no patience for; like Love, Attraction, Resistance, Uncertainty and so on..

Stated from a first person POV, get through the day with Will as he denies his feelings for his intriguing lab partner and her alien doodles.

---
'pag naiintriga at gustong mabasa,
sabihin lang sa akin at nang makita.

I'd be happy to die for a taste of what Angel had: someone to live for, unafraid to say I Love You.

and I swear nalulungkot ako. and I swear hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko. nahihirapan na ako. pero alam kong wala akong rason para mahirapan. wala kasi sa lugar yung mga nararamdaman ko.

self-inflicted na ang lahat ng nararamdaman ko. kasalanan ko 'to.

Goodbye, Love.
(RENT)

-

I feel:

a. sad
b. angry
c. stupid
d. envious
e. weird
f. shitty
g. terrible
h. depressed
i. hopeless
j. dejected
k. blue
l. hollow
m. empty
n. restless
o. crestfallen
p. forlorn
q. glum
r. disappointed
s. uncertain
t. insecure
u. unsure
v. inconsolable
w. JOY-less (wala kasi si Joy, ayyy. korni)
x. wretched
y. miserable
z. all of the above

WHO KNOWS? HERE GOES...

trusting desire, starting to learn.
walking through fire, without a burn.
clinging of shoulder, a leap begins.
stinging and older, asleep on pins.
---
I, Katrina Isabel Inton Santos, will be on blog leave for a week or so(?)
I have yet to memorize -logues, make a reaction paper and study. :|
ugh, I'm starting to turn into a ZOMBIE. :|

PHYSIS 101
with Katrina Santos.

TOPIC: FORCES (Newton's 1st Law of Motion)

An unbalanced force (Net Force) causes acceleration. Acceleration can be manifested by a change in position, speed and/or velocity. Inertia is the property of matter to resist change. Friction is the force that opposes the "original" acting force.

Furthermore, a body at rest will continue to be at rest or a body in motion will continue to be in motion in the same direction and speed unless an unbalanced force acts upon it.

APPLICATION:

You're the unbalanced force that causes my heart to accelerate its beating. But since I am, in a way, possessing such a high degree of inertia, I refuse to totally give in to what this thing could be. There's also this great amount of friction that stops me from continuing this undetermined path.

And now I just don't know what to do. And this is stupid. and unreasonable. and illogical. and stupid. and I don't know. I just don't know.

"Because... I feel... I feel like I don't know what I feel. I really like you, but I'm not sure what that means. I don't know what you want from me. And I don't know if I can give it to you. I was talking to my old friends about you, and about me, and hearing it all out loud I realized that I've gotten myself into something that I might not be ready for. I mean, I know you're not going to hurt me, but at the same time I don't want to throw myself into a place where I can be hurt."

WORD FOR THE DAY:

as Katrina Santos read an article on how to write a news article, this pop-up ad caught her attention:


when used in a sentence:
Katrina Santos is in a chaotic predicament. She has to take risks either way.

---
nawawala si Hershey! :|
lumabas yata ng bahay. :|
umuulan pa naman. :(

SINO?

nastranded si Kat sa karagatan. kasama niya si AM, CC at MQ. palubog na ang barko. at iisa lang ang pwedeng sagipin ni Kat. sino sasagipin niya?

hindi pwedeng pareho niyang tutulungan si AM at CC. hindi pwedeng isakripisyo ni Kat ang buhay niya para isa sa kanilang dalawa ang mabuhay. hindi pwedeng wala, na papabayaan nalang ni Kat na malunod sila.

eh di anong gagawin niya?

itatapon niya si MQ patungong kaligtasan. tas mananatili si Kat kasama si AM at CC. sabay-sabay silang lulubog. sabay-sabay silang mamamatay.

---
okaaay, emo. kadiri. HAHA!

WE ARE THEIR SACRIFICIAL BEINGS
READY FOR MANIPULATION.

we, mortals, are used by the gods for their affairs.

our world is like a chessboard, where logic and intellect are used for war and destruction. and we are pawns, the little servants sent by royalty to settle their silly affairs. our fate lies upon them. our very triumph and destruction rely on them.

I guess it was just my misfortune that a very silly conflict between Hera and Pelias has caused my infinite despair.

... I have really loved you, Jason. god-induced feeling or not, this was real. everything I did was out of my intense love for you. and I guess you're just too stupid to realize that I am a keeper; that a lover like me is actually impossible to find.

---
Greek Mythology crap.

YOU GIVE ME SOMETHING
that makes me scared, alright.

nalulungkot ulit. natatakot. naguguluhan.
ano ba, kailan ba matatapos 'to?
kailan ba maaayos ang lahat?
kailan ko ba marerealize 'yung mga dapat kong marealize?

napipilitan lang ba ako?
hindi eh. kasi...
kasi alam mo 'yun?
kung napipilitan ako, ba't may nararamdaman akong iba?

gusto ko na ayaw ko. natatakot ako pero umaasa parin.
possibleng hindi narin naman mangyayari.

IT'S NOT A BIRD, NOT A PLANE
it's my heart and it's going, gone away.

alam niyo ba, may aaminin ako. :)
actually, dati pa 'to eh. ngayon ko lang inamin sa sarili ko.
crush ko si Chris Brown. :D
alam niyo ba kung gano nakakamelt ang boses niya?
eh kung gano siya kagaling sumayaw? :D

wala lang, paulit ulit ko pinapakinggan ang SUPERHUMAN.

TUESDAY TROUBLE.

title: lack of other titles.

unexpected. unwanted. okay, moving on.

Ateneo's Cafe Azul's Oreo Cheesecake made my day. :) now I have something to look forward to. :D

HEY HEY! IT'S A MONDAY!

I'm rereading David Levithan's Boy Meets Boy and I get lost in the words.

sometimes I imagine myself as Paul. I'm sensing what he senses. I'm feeling what he feels. during those random moments, I sometimes picture us as Paul and Noah. sharing those same situations and blurting out those same sentences.

the promise of a kiss will (HOPEFULLY) carry us forward.